Hearing in Color (Flash Fiction)

Source: For 2019’s first flash fiction post, I’m going to share the story that placed 1st in the The Writer’s Workout’s September 2018 500 contest.

Prompt: Write a story embodying the concept of depression in under 500 words.


I can’t hear the music. It used to play nonstop inside my head, each new moment stirring up melodies. Most people perceive color through sight, but I found it inside song. Now the world is gray.

I stare up at my ceiling. The light fixture above my bed hangs loose at one end. The sun seeping in through my curtains blanches my room and stings my eyes. At least it’s comfortable beneath the blankets, safe, something like pleasant. I should get up, but I already know how the day will go – I’ll sit down at the piano and feel just as blocked as I did yesterday. Time will slip away. Night will come again. I’ll toss and turn. Repeat, repeat, repeat, like the notes in a song in which I’ve forgotten the next verse.

My stomach growls for the third time. I can’t ignore the hunger pains anymore, clenching like my body wants to curl and fold itself up until it can blow away on the breeze, taking my mind with it. I wouldn’t mind floating through the air, aimless and at rest. At least I wouldn’t have to fight anymore.

With a sigh, I push myself up on my palms. Something is wrong. I’m too weighed down. I look back to see my shadow staring at me.

“Stay,” my shadow orders.

I try to rise, but my shadow sticks to the bed. It’s heavy, as if all of the void is condensed inside its ink – all of that vast emptiness we spend our lives trying to forget.

“I have to try,” I tell it.

“It’s not worth it,” it tells me. “Any song you write will be erased by time. Anyone who listens will forget it. Nothing worth anything can come out of your useless soul.”

My phone buzzes on my bedside table. “Hey,” a text flashes on the screen. “I picked up tickets for your recital next week. Looking forward to it!”

…I was looking forward to it, too.

“You’ll disappoint her. You’ll disappoint yourself. You’ll fail.”

I pull forward with all of my strength, and my shadow rips free from my bed.

***

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My fingers summon the notes of a familiar song. It sounds blank at first, all of its colors gone, but I keep playing. Even if the song seems like silence to me, maybe someone else will hear what I used to.

I tap out the chorus, and for a moment, my walls turn blue, my hands turn tan, the sunlight turns gold. Then the gray returns.

I smile, just a bit. Colors flicker like the stars in the void. Even if I can’t always see those stars through the fog, I can hear them in the echoes of my notes. Maybe one day the abyss will be the night sky again – not empty, but full of planets, fire, light. For now, one note after another is enough.


I hope you enjoyed this brief story! If you’d like to read more, members of my email list get first access to updates and sneak peeks.

Clocked In

Hey all, I’m going to start off this year’s tip posts with a simple technique that’s so far helped me keep my own writing habit resolutions.

For 2019, I resolved to work (as in write, edit, outline, or market) for at least two, two-hour-long sessions each weekday. This way, I’m putting proper part-time work hours into my writing. The hardest part of this has been making the mindset shift. The best way to make that shift? Actually treating my writing career like any other job.

In order to keep myself accountable and get myself into the head space for work, I’ve been using a clock in app whenever I sit down at my desk. A quick search on any app store will lead to many apps to choose from, but I personally like Clock Punch, as it works well for just one person and lets me track what I’m focusing on for each shift. This way, I can set individual hourly goals for certain tasks when the need arises.

When I report to work, I act just as I would if I were at a salaried position. While clocked in, I don’t allow myself to check social media, play games, or do anything else I wouldn’t do if I had a manager to report to. I still do have one, in fact – my manager is myself. Anything outside of writing can wait.

After all, I’m on the clock.

If you give this technique a try yourself, let me know how it goes! What are your writing resolutions this year? Have you found any tools that help you make them happen?

Happy 2019

Hello all! Apologies for the recent silence. First came NaNoWriMo, then came major life changes that weren’t entirely expected. But now, 10 days into the new year, it’s time to get back to schedule.

Here’s a peak at my writing and game development related goals for 2019:

  • Indie Publish 3 Novels
    • The Woods at the End of the World (tentative title): A YA supernatural horror novel about a girl who might be one of the last people left on Earth.
    • Paragon (tentative title): An epic-length dark fantasy about a wayward scientist and his soldier companion who find themselves drawn into a cult that wants to recreate their troubled world.
    • (We Are All Made of) Glass: A horror-ish, YA-ish novel about a boy who finds himself trapped in a strange castle that doesn’t seem to want him to leave.
      • This one’s an adaption of the currently unfinished game called Glass.
  • Indie Publish at Least 1 Novelette/Novella
    • To Dust: A paranormal, post-apocalyptic story about a scavenger and her best friend who find more than scrap when they search an ancient house called the Origin.
      • If you came here from my email list, this is the Wish List story and it’s still on its way. A longer length than anticipated and the aforementioned life shakeups caused a delay. Updates will be coming to your inbox soon.
    • I may also aim for a couple more short story adaptions, schedule and inspiration permitting.
  • More Indie Publishing
    • All of Our Endings (Short Story Collection): On that note, I’m planning to put together a collection of my favorite short stories and flash fiction once further editing is done and publishing rights revert. These stories will highlight one theme that I’ve noticed showing up in a lot of my work – crossing thresholds. Worlds ending while others begin.
    • Introvert’s Anthem (Poetry Chapbook): I’m also working on my first collection of poetry, with themes centering authenticity, solitude, and purpose.
  • Game Development
    • Finally finish and publish the sequel to Happy Birthday.
    • Finish and publish a short horror game called Amaranthine.
    • Finish and publish an interactive fiction game called Remote.

I’ve been optimistic in laying out my goals. I don’t know that I’ll accomplish all of them, but I’m aiming to challenge myself this year as a writer and designer. I’ve had many projects in progress over the last couple of years – 2019 will be the one where I send them out into the world.

If you’d like to follow along, my email list will chronicle the journey.

I hope the year has treated you all well so far. What are some of your goals for 2019? Let me know in the comments so I can cheer you on!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! I hope the night brings you plenty of sweet treats, a pleasant autumn-colored evening, and the fun sort of scares.

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Childhood Friend – Flash Fiction

If you’re looking for a short, spooky read, you can find Childhood Friend, the 1st place flash fiction from the All Hallow’s Prose Halloween competition, on the WriterWriter blog, along with the other winning stories offering bite-sized helpings of horror.

Read them Here.

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LGBTQIA+ Halloween Derby


For fans of LBGTQIA+ fiction, there’s a Halloween Derby going on at Prolific Works with a variety of free paranormal LGBTQIA+ stories.

I’ve got a couple of stories offered here as well, including a new Prolific Works exclusive called Like the Stars, so if you read them, I’d love to know what you think.

Read them Here.

 

My Halloween Recommendations

If you’re looking for more scary stories, these are my personal favorites.

Book: The House of Long Shadows by Ambrose Ibsen

A deceptively terrifying haunted house story with fantastic imagery – I could see the setting so clearly in my mind after finishing it that I may as well have watched a film. This is one of the few horror novels that managed to genuinely crawl under my skin, and one in which I cared about the outcome so much that it got me out of my analytical “writer brain” and turning pages quickly.

Movie: The Babadook

One of the few movies I’ve watched more than once. What seems like a simple, maybe even a little cheesy, movie at first glance hides a powerful metaphor – for grief, for anger, for the mental pains we sometimes try to stuff in the closet – but which always seem to creep out somehow. What’s scarier than that?

Game: The Cat Lady

A chilling, powerful slow burn of a game that delves into its character’s psyche – and the player’s. The game sinks deeper into darkness than nearly any other peace of media I’ve experienced, but it offers glimpses of hope and beauty, too.

Thank you for reading, and have a fantastic November!

(Apologies for the lack of posts lately, too. School has been eating me alive, but I’m hoping to pull out of its grip a bit next month. Although then comes NaNoWriMo. Good luck to any fellow writers participating!)

Smile (Flash Fiction)

(Flash Fiction: Every fourth Monday, I’ll share a flash fiction story.)

denny-muller-532461-unsplashThe cupboards were nearly empty, and within a few days, they would be.

Melody, sluggish from hunger, dug through the last cans of tuna and bags of stale chips. The electricity had died a couple of days ago, so she needed something she didn’t have to cook. So much for her dreams of culinary school. Filet Mignon and chocolate Chambord cake were things of the halcyon past.

Sighing, she settled on a bag of chewy cheddar popcorn a few weeks passed its expiration date. Lacking the energy to make it upstairs to her bed, she plopped herself down on the couch. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders – the heat had wilted with the electricity, and it was nearing the beginning of winter. Soon, it would snow.

She had nothing to do but stare at the wall and a blank TV screen while stale seeds got stuck between her teeth. Her eyes wandered to the pictures lining the stairwell. Her mom, her dad, her older brother. The End had taken them away six weeks ago, and now their faces only existed behind the glass, flat and still.

Melody’s gaze watered without her permission. She clamped it shut while soggy popcorn sat on her tongue. Her days were as empty as the kitchen shelves. She cherished no one and nothing, and no one and nothing cherished her. She’d used up all of her sorrow and all of her fear…now her insides were as empty as her outsides.

Another Melody smirked at her from the photos, her eyes as bright as the summer sun behind her. That version of herself also remained only within wooden frames, as dead as the rest of her family.

Melody laughed, the noise leaving her mouth as if her lips had taken on a mind of their own. The girl in the photos had thought she’d had a future. So had the millions the End had taken. She’d –

A giggle echoed from somewhere outside her curtained windows. At least, she thought that was what she’d heard, before she realized she had to be mistaken. Her gaze shot up, her ears waiting intently with every expectation of disappointment.

But the sound came again, followed by a second joyful voice. It was muted, but she wasn’t mistaken. There were people. Other people. Other survivors.

Melody got up and ran to the door, her body reacting before her mind could. She reached out for the knob, sucked in a breath, and broke the seal protecting her house from the rest of the world.

Her eyes stretched wide when she saw them on the street. Men. Women. Children. She managed a noise – a wordless squeak – and one man looked at her, his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a young boy who eyed her curiously through sunny blue irises. Fellow strangers followed suit, and for the first time in weeks, she was seen in the eyes of someone else.

“Hello there,” the man stepped closer and held out his hand in greeting. “Didn’t think anyone else was still holed up around here.”

She saw something on his face that she hadn’t in a long while – a smile.

Melody fought back her tears. Her future wasn’t gone. All she had to do was seize it and start a new story.

She smiled, too.

Writer’s Block Kit

(Story Craft: Every 3rd week of the month, I’ll post writing/editing techniques that I’ve personally found useful.)

While we all experience it for different reasons, writer’s block is a universal experience for anyone who commits words to the page. Sometimes we might be unable to focus due to other events going on in our lives, sometimes we might be writing an emotional scene we’re not quite sure we’re ready for, and other times still we might simply be unsure about what plot developments should unfold next. There are countless reasons why we might put off putting down words, but regardless of where your blocks tend to come from, here are some techniques for breaking through them that I’ve personally found useful:

Capitalize on your Imagination for Inspiration

  • Deeply visualize the current scene using all of your senses. Walk through a few moments of life in that scene. Experience it.
  • Imagine you are a character within the current scene – how do you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally in the current moment?
  • Roleplay (even if just in your head) as one of your characters in your present moment – how do you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally in the current moment?
  • Imagine asking the characters what they want to do next, and their response.
  • Imagine what might happen between the scenes in your story – in the moments without conflict, when the characters are simply living their lives. What does this say about the characters and the world? Can any of these ideas inform existing scenes or start new ones?

Consider Story Structure/Brainstorm

  • Put yourself in your ideal reader’s place. What would they want to happen next? What would they expect? What would surprise them? What happens to each of these ideas when you subvert them to their opposite?
  • What narrative role does the current scene serve? What goals are you trying to accomplish by writing it? What is the most important thing a reader needs to take away from this scene? How can you emphasize this in the scene?
  • What goals does each character have in the scene? How can these goals drive the events?
  • Conflict moves plot. What internal or external obstacle, however minor, is your POV character trying to overcome in this specific scene? If there isn’t one, can you add more conflict to drive the events?
  • Sometimes a change in pacing is what the story needs to build momentum. If the story’s recent events have been low intensity, is there a way you can ramp up the intensity in this scene, or vice versa?

Free/Speed Write

  • Free write about the scene you’re stuck on, working through your worries and letting out whatever ideas pop into your head.
  • Free write about entertaining or interesting moments that take place in the unwritten spaces between the scenes in your story.
  • Free write about why you love the project you’re working on and why you want to finish it.
  • Try setting a timer for 5 minutes, and in that time, continue to write your scene without stopping, even if the words coming out are drivel. Think of it almost like an attack on the block. Move the plot forward no matter what it takes. There will be time to edit later. After the timer goes off, take a breather for at least 2 minutes, then if you’re still stuck, set it again and repeat the process. Software that forces you to write without stopping can help. It can also be fun to check how many words you wrote in each 5 minute session and jot down your “high score” – then try to beat it!
  • You can use a similar process to the above with the longer, more relaxed Pomodoro Technique, which uses 25 minute work sessions and 5 minute breaks. Sometimes the simple promise of a break can help ease the tension of working through a block.

Change up the Environment

  • Listen to different background music.
  • Meditate for 3 – 5 minutes.
  • Stand up for 1 – 3 minutes.
  • Grab a snack.
  • Move from your current position to a new environment. For example, if you’re writing at home, try taking off to a cafe or library to work, or perhaps sitting with a notebook in a park for a while. Even something as simple as moving from a couch to a desk, or vice versa, can help.

Take a Break!

  • Sometimes you’re simply overtired, burned out, need some time to think, or occupied by other responsibilities, and that’s okay. Write a few ideas in brackets at the place of the block if you can – even if they’re iffy – then take your mind off writing. Make sure to get some rest too: our minds mull over ideas subconsciously when they aren’t busy, so the new insight you need might just pop into your head when you least expect it, so long as you give your thoughts some breathing room.

Of course, there comes a point where if you want to break through a block, then all there is to it is to keep on writing. Release yourself not just from your inner editor, but from the imagined expectations of your future audience, and get the first draft done. Editing comes later. All you have to do now is tell yourself the story.

“It’s very hard to tell, at the end of your writing day, whether you’ve done great work or bad work. The quality of the writing is hard to judge until you’ve had some sleep and got some perspective on it. And the more I learn about the writing process, the more I suspect that there is no such thing as a bad day at the keyboard.

The good days are when you perform; the slow days are when you learn to perform better. The only bad days as a writer are the ones when you are too cowardly or too lazy to sit down at the keyboard and give it everything you have.”
— Chris Cleave

One Song (Poem)

(Poetry: Every 2nd week of the month, I’ll post a poem or atmospheric piece.)

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One Song

Stars flicker uncountable,
like the notes in a silence song
sensed only on the outskirts of hearing,
even while our bodies play the melody with
our drumming hearts,
and with each    rest    beat we exhale –

every decision we make
is a step in our dance,
watched by the wondering Universe

while we write lyrics with our life story
and send the    echoes    into

everything.

New Weekly Schedule

Hello readers! Today was my first day back at school for the fall, so to make keeping up with the blog a bit more manageable, I’ve adjusted the schedule. From now on, there will be a new post every Monday, as well as monthly project updates and occasional misc. posts.

Look for new content according to the following schedule:

Monday Blues (1st Week of Month)
Monthly media recommendations
Poetry (2nd Week of Month)

Short poems or atmospheric pieces.
Story Craft (3rd Week of Month)
Tips for writing, revision, or game design.
Flash Fiction (4th Week of Month)
Flash fiction and a weekly prompt.
Monthly Updates (Last Day of Month)
Project previews and updates.

Thanks for sticking around throughout the recent schedule changes. Have a great September filled with good books and strong tea!

New Short Stories

It’s been an exciting day as a writer.

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It was announced today that The Puppet Beast, a dark fantasy short story, placed within the top three in the summer writing contest from Short Fiction Break magazine and The Write Practice. Check it out on Short Fiction Break.

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Another of my shorts – a scary microfiction story called Night Sentinel – was published today in 101words magazine. Give it a read online.

I’d love to know what you think about either of them.

(Also, apologies for the recent radio silence here. August has kept me busy. I’m aiming to sink back into the schedule in September.)